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Can addicts cure themselves? Absolutely not! If we believe that we are a part of God and He made us in His image, than how can we step outside of this belief and be healed by some other source. Only those people who really do not have faith and trust in God would take such a stance.
I was on an addiction forum on Amazon the other day and someone asked if addicts can get sober without God. The simple question is, they can stop drinking without God but they will not be whole people and completely healed from within without God because God is our Source—God is our healer! This is what I believe because I believe what God says! God says He is our healer.
I often see ex-alcoholics who are bitter, resentful, unhappy and angry people who say they cured themselves from addiction. Are they truly healed? No they are not healed, for if they were they would be content and happy people, at least most of the time. If they are healed than why do they still go to AA? Why are they angry and unhappy? Why do they still crave their substance of choice?
There are many bitter filled people who say they are sober, but the symptoms of addiction are still apparent within them because they did not go to God for healing. God makes us whole people because God is love and God gifts us with love when we are faithful to His love and guidance for us. When we have sincere faith to believe that God will heal us of addiction then God WILL heal us!
There are many ex-alcoholics who stopped drinking through the power of Christ working within them, who are content, loving, happy people. When you ask them how they quit drinking they come right out and praise and worship our Creator—they do not take the credit for such an accomplishment. They say that God healed and saved them from addiction.
Can addicts cure themselves without God? Well, some people seem to think so. But they have nothing to compare their bodies to. For them feeling angry or bitter or hanging on to feelings of unforgiveness for someone, and or having cravings and being emotionally challenged is a normal way to feel. Not until they truly feel the peace and contentment of the Holy Spirit within them will they change their tune and realize that just because they may not be abusing their substance of choice, does not, in no way mean, they are healed and complete and whole people.
It is Jesus Christ who takes away our impurities and makes us whole people in Him. When someone says they got sober in rehab what they mean to say is “today I am not drinking or using.” Who really knows what tomorrow will bring for them.
Think about this for a moment: God created us with a body, mind, and soul. All three of these aspects of ourselves NEED to be healed BEFORE we are completely cured of addiction. That means we need healing not just in the physical sense, but emotional, mental and spiritual sense too. So if someone says they cured themselves without God, but they do not know God then they are VERY confused and unfaithful people.
And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, And saying, Lord my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented.
And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.
The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me; and I say to the man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.
When Jesus hear it, he marveled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great a faith, no, not in Israel. Go thy way, and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour. (Matthew 5: 8-13)
If you have complete faith in God, then He will heal you of addiction!
We uploaded a new healing video on alcoholism: Stop Taking Responsibility for the Alcoholic! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV4rGsVh8UY
You Can Conquer Addiction! Helpful Resources Support and Encouragement for addiction.
How You Can Get Sober and Stay Sober For Good
Have you ever tried to quit drinking only to go back to it again and again? When you get sober are you getting sober for you or for someone else? It is my firm belief that the alcoholic must “want” to stop drinking and get their life back together for themselves BEFORE true sobriety will ever happen. When we are not convicted in our heart and mind to give up the addiction for ourselves we will have a difficult time staying sober.
Let me tell you a little bit about my situation when I first quit drinking and then you can decide for yourself. When I first got sober, about 16-years ago, I did it for my husband. I thought I wanted to quit so I could save my marriage, but I realized later, when reality hit, that I really didn’t want to quit drinking, but only wanted to appease husband and extended family.
I went into a rehab facility for 3-days and then went to a few Alcoholic’s Anonymous meetings, but because I was not getting sober for myself, sobriety only lasted a few weeks. I kept telling myself “reasons” why I could drink. Some of these reasons were really ridiculous but my mind was coming from an alcoholic perspective. The mind of an alcoholic does not “see” nor “understand” the depth of reality around them.
If the alcoholic is still in denial that they have a drinking problem, or if they are not ready to quit, or if they try and quit for someone else rather than for themselves, they will NOT be able to stay sober for any amount of time. If the alcoholic really wants to quit, they will through the power of God in their life. Only our Creator can save us from ourselves and free us from the wretchedness of this world.
I give thanks to God every day for giving me my life back! And I praise Him for making me whole in Jesus Christ! We can go to rehab, AA, counseling and our family can plead and beg for us to quit and threaten to leave us, but unless we’re convicted in our heart to quit because “we” want to quit it just won’t happen. Ah, yes, there are sober alcoholics walking around in society, but are they truly happy with their life? Are they truly free from the symptoms of an addicted mind?
God created us and He continues to breathe life into us, but some of us, especially those who are trapped within addiction are blowing God’s breath of life right back out—they have not yet accepted Christ—they are in bondage to addiction. The truth is we can walk this journey in life, stumbling around in the dark, hitting ourselves over the head in the process, or we can give up what is holding us back from God’s love for us.
We can humble our proud ways, and our wretched lives to Christ and begin to be the person that God intended for us to be—the person God intended for us to become in Him!! I’m a living, breathing testimony of God breathing life into me…if I didn’t have life I wouldn’t be able to give you this encouragement today. But God gave me back my life and He wants me to let you know there is a better way—His way!
Don’t waste another minute of your day, covering up your pain, your troubles, your past and your grief with alcohol. Give those things to Jesus and He will take care of your needs. But you have to trust Him. God knows your pain—He knocking at your door, but you have to answer the door and invite Him in.
God will give you peace and contentment…He says He will and I trust everything God says as true! Put your trust and faith in Him…today!
Let me tell you a little bit about my situation when I first quit drinking and then you can decide for yourself. When I first got sober, about 16-years ago, I did it for my husband. I thought I wanted to quit so I could save my marriage, but I realized later, when reality hit, that I really didn’t want to quit drinking, but only wanted to appease husband and extended family.
I went into a rehab facility for 3-days and then went to a few Alcoholic’s Anonymous meetings, but because I was not getting sober for myself, sobriety only lasted a few weeks. I kept telling myself “reasons” why I could drink. Some of these reasons were really ridiculous but my mind was coming from an alcoholic perspective. The mind of an alcoholic does not “see” nor “understand” the depth of reality around them.
If the alcoholic is still in denial that they have a drinking problem, or if they are not ready to quit, or if they try and quit for someone else rather than for themselves, they will NOT be able to stay sober for any amount of time. If the alcoholic really wants to quit, they will through the power of God in their life. Only our Creator can save us from ourselves and free us from the wretchedness of this world.
I give thanks to God every day for giving me my life back! And I praise Him for making me whole in Jesus Christ! We can go to rehab, AA, counseling and our family can plead and beg for us to quit and threaten to leave us, but unless we’re convicted in our heart to quit because “we” want to quit it just won’t happen. Ah, yes, there are sober alcoholics walking around in society, but are they truly happy with their life? Are they truly free from the symptoms of an addicted mind?
God created us and He continues to breathe life into us, but some of us, especially those who are trapped within addiction are blowing God’s breath of life right back out—they have not yet accepted Christ—they are in bondage to addiction. The truth is we can walk this journey in life, stumbling around in the dark, hitting ourselves over the head in the process, or we can give up what is holding us back from God’s love for us.
We can humble our proud ways, and our wretched lives to Christ and begin to be the person that God intended for us to be—the person God intended for us to become in Him!! I’m a living, breathing testimony of God breathing life into me…if I didn’t have life I wouldn’t be able to give you this encouragement today. But God gave me back my life and He wants me to let you know there is a better way—His way!
Don’t waste another minute of your day, covering up your pain, your troubles, your past and your grief with alcohol. Give those things to Jesus and He will take care of your needs. But you have to trust Him. God knows your pain—He knocking at your door, but you have to answer the door and invite Him in.
God will give you peace and contentment…He says He will and I trust everything God says as true! Put your trust and faith in Him…today!
Angie's Marriage Column - Angry Because of Husband's Addiction
Question: When standing for our spouses through addictions I feel like I am enabling him and I feel myself angry. He is not a Christian and was seeking God until I came back after separation and he went back to old ways. As I walk with Christ I do not know what direction to go according to Gods word.
Guidance: Feelings of resentment and anger are natural to have when living with someone who has an addiction. It could very well be that you are enabling him and you just don't know it, and that is why you feel angry afterwards. I commend you on your willingness to support your husband through his addiction. One important aspect about being able to be supportive and encouraging for your addicted spouse is being able to forgive them on a consistent basis. You do this by reminding yourself that the addict is sick in body and spirit, and for reasons beyond your control they have a compulsion to drink, and that has nothing to do with you.
So after saying that, I must bring up detaching from the addict so you can learn to forgive them. And that is the direction your walk should go in doing God's will for your life. Forgiveness can only be achieved by detaching emotionally from the addict. Most spouses do not detach from the addiction and they become just as mentally, emotionally and spiritually sick as the addict - don't let that happen to you. God's will for you as the wife of an addicted spouse would be to continue taking care of your responsibilities as a wife but to not become the victim of your husband’s weakness and that involves forgiveness and detachment.
Your purpose for your marriage at this time is to be a bright shinning light for your husband. You will need to ask God everyday for the peace of mind to get through these trials. You will suffer, and there will be days where you just might feel like giving up, but that is why Christ has given us the blessing of His Spirit within us, so we may not be alone to tackle our troubles in life. We are not alone when we have the Love of Christ within us. Below are some ways in which you can learn to not become the victim of addiction.
Stop Trying To Control The Addict
Yelling, threatening, blaming, and arguing with the addict is not going to help them or help you, so ask God to help you take away the urge to want to control the outcome of your husbands addiction or control his behavior. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference". Write this on cue cards and read through out the day.
The wisdom to know the difference is VERY important here. You can change the way YOU feel and you can change your attitude towards your husband's behavior through accepting the fact that he is sick, mentally and spiritually and because of that you can be forgiving and tolerant. (this is how you help the addict the most).
You have take care of YOU. And when you take care of YOU it reflects back on the addict because they will come out from denial and accept their addiction. Once you learn to stop enabling and rescuing their behavior through CONTROL tactics is when the addict must accept responsibility for himself and realize he is sick!
Set Boundaries For Yourself
Notice that I did not say to set boundaries for them, and the reason is, they cannot abide by any boundaries you enforce, so don't even try. Boundaries are for your own sanity. Boundaries make it easier for you to not allow their roller coaster emotions to affect you. Boundaries are ways in which to detach from the addict. When living with an alcoholic or drug addict you need to set boundaries to define your area, to protect your space - physical, emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, financial, etc. You set the boundary because it is what you need to do for yourself. Stick to your boundaries. If the addict is trespassing on your spiritual well being by behaving abusive in any way, you need to have your own space, away from the alcoholic, preferably behind a closed and locked door.
Love The Person - Don't Love The Addiction
What does this mean? It means to understand the difference. Don't have anything to do with the addiction, but love the person behind the addiction. You do that by not enabling, and not rescuing, and by being supportive and encouraging only when the addict is not using. Let them know you love them as the person God created, but you do not love the addiction. God does not create addictions, people create addiction within themselves. That is not "who" your husband is, your husband is a man, husband, father, but because of his own unbelief has created addiction for himself through his lifestyle and thoughts. Just as easily that he became addicted can he become the man that God intended him to be.
Detach With Love
Detach from the abuse of the addicted person by not making the addiction your problem. When their problem becomes our problem we tend to help too much and in the wrong ways, such as helping them to deal socially with life, and to pardon them when they get into brawls and squabbles with others. You see, if you are trapped within the addiction with the alcoholic, how will you be able to pull them out? What you need to do is to stop concentrating so much on what the alcoholic is or isn't doing and focus on yourself and that will keep you from feeling angry when your addicted spouse mistreats you.
Detach from everything and anything associated with the addiction, including the negative behavior.
Pray For The Addict
I cannot tell you how important the process of daily prayer can be. Not only does it bring you closer to God but also it will get you into the habit of going to God with your life challenges. God does hear your cries of pain and He will give you the answers you need to get through these trials in your life. Some people think that just because they cannot see God that He will not hear them when they pray, or that God will not answer their prayers. But God will answer your prayers; just not in the way you want. We're so used to praying only when we want something or when we need comforting, but daily prayer for others nourishes the soul, and gets us in the habit of praying to God for our needs.
Most loved ones of alcoholic's are unhappy and lonely because they are not doing anything about their circumstances. If your spouse had cancer or diabetes, would you get sick with them? Of course you wouldn't. But that is what you're doing each and every time you enable, rescue, and stay in denial with the addict. Granted the addict cannot and will not love you back in the ways that they should - it is beyond their power while in the throngs of addiction. That is why alcoholism is called the insidious disease for a reason. Alcoholism and other addictions have broken apart marriages and relationships, and kept the addict from discovering their Creator - the source of who they are. Can it get anymore insidious than that?
There is so much more that I could say to you to support you in your journey. I have written a book called the Alcoholism Trap to help loved ones deal with the aspects of alcohol addiction. I also talk about why an alcoholic drinks and what the alcoholic can do to beat addiction for good and achieve total sobriety, which is getting to the ROOT of the alcoholic's problems first, and then tackling the drinking problem, which is only a symptom of alcoholism. The most important aspect of total sobriety is to look at all the areas of an alcoholic's life instead of just focusing on the drinking. The drinking is only secondary to the addiction. This is a great book with lots of valuable information for the alcoholic and the loved one of an alcoholic.
We also have written a great ebook on this subject called "How Do I Detach from an Alcoholic Spouse, you can find this book on the home page of Heaven Ministries.
I am offering two free copies of The Alcoholism Trap (first to email me will be first to serve) to anyone on my subscriber list that would like to give me a review and post it on Amazon. Please email me if this sounds like something you would be interested in. You do not have to be a professional writer to write up a short reveiw. All you need to do is read the book and tell potential buyers what you felt about the book. Did you like it? Was it interesting? Did you learn anything from the book? Did you think the book was explained in easy to understand terms? Would you read other material by this author? What was your overall feel of the book?
Article Resource:
Do You Love An Alcoholic? Setting Boundaries For You!
http://www.heavenministries.com/articles/doyouloveanalcoholic-setting%20boundaries.htm
Book Resource:
The Alcoholism Trap:
Please see Chapter Preview. This book teaches about how to come to “total sobriety”, which is healthy in body, mind, and soul. All addicted persons need some kind of inner healing and without humbling our lives to our Creator for the healing we need total sobriety will never be. An alcoholic drinks to feel better emotionally and mentally – that is where the compulsion to drink stems from. We absolutely NEED God in our lives to conquer our troubles and addictions and become the people God created us to be.
Until next Wednesday, May God bless you for His glory in His kingdom!
Angie
Guidance: Feelings of resentment and anger are natural to have when living with someone who has an addiction. It could very well be that you are enabling him and you just don't know it, and that is why you feel angry afterwards. I commend you on your willingness to support your husband through his addiction. One important aspect about being able to be supportive and encouraging for your addicted spouse is being able to forgive them on a consistent basis. You do this by reminding yourself that the addict is sick in body and spirit, and for reasons beyond your control they have a compulsion to drink, and that has nothing to do with you.
So after saying that, I must bring up detaching from the addict so you can learn to forgive them. And that is the direction your walk should go in doing God's will for your life. Forgiveness can only be achieved by detaching emotionally from the addict. Most spouses do not detach from the addiction and they become just as mentally, emotionally and spiritually sick as the addict - don't let that happen to you. God's will for you as the wife of an addicted spouse would be to continue taking care of your responsibilities as a wife but to not become the victim of your husband’s weakness and that involves forgiveness and detachment.
Your purpose for your marriage at this time is to be a bright shinning light for your husband. You will need to ask God everyday for the peace of mind to get through these trials. You will suffer, and there will be days where you just might feel like giving up, but that is why Christ has given us the blessing of His Spirit within us, so we may not be alone to tackle our troubles in life. We are not alone when we have the Love of Christ within us. Below are some ways in which you can learn to not become the victim of addiction.
Stop Trying To Control The Addict
Yelling, threatening, blaming, and arguing with the addict is not going to help them or help you, so ask God to help you take away the urge to want to control the outcome of your husbands addiction or control his behavior. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference". Write this on cue cards and read through out the day.
The wisdom to know the difference is VERY important here. You can change the way YOU feel and you can change your attitude towards your husband's behavior through accepting the fact that he is sick, mentally and spiritually and because of that you can be forgiving and tolerant. (this is how you help the addict the most).
You have take care of YOU. And when you take care of YOU it reflects back on the addict because they will come out from denial and accept their addiction. Once you learn to stop enabling and rescuing their behavior through CONTROL tactics is when the addict must accept responsibility for himself and realize he is sick!
Set Boundaries For Yourself
Notice that I did not say to set boundaries for them, and the reason is, they cannot abide by any boundaries you enforce, so don't even try. Boundaries are for your own sanity. Boundaries make it easier for you to not allow their roller coaster emotions to affect you. Boundaries are ways in which to detach from the addict. When living with an alcoholic or drug addict you need to set boundaries to define your area, to protect your space - physical, emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, financial, etc. You set the boundary because it is what you need to do for yourself. Stick to your boundaries. If the addict is trespassing on your spiritual well being by behaving abusive in any way, you need to have your own space, away from the alcoholic, preferably behind a closed and locked door.
Love The Person - Don't Love The Addiction
What does this mean? It means to understand the difference. Don't have anything to do with the addiction, but love the person behind the addiction. You do that by not enabling, and not rescuing, and by being supportive and encouraging only when the addict is not using. Let them know you love them as the person God created, but you do not love the addiction. God does not create addictions, people create addiction within themselves. That is not "who" your husband is, your husband is a man, husband, father, but because of his own unbelief has created addiction for himself through his lifestyle and thoughts. Just as easily that he became addicted can he become the man that God intended him to be.
Detach With Love
Detach from the abuse of the addicted person by not making the addiction your problem. When their problem becomes our problem we tend to help too much and in the wrong ways, such as helping them to deal socially with life, and to pardon them when they get into brawls and squabbles with others. You see, if you are trapped within the addiction with the alcoholic, how will you be able to pull them out? What you need to do is to stop concentrating so much on what the alcoholic is or isn't doing and focus on yourself and that will keep you from feeling angry when your addicted spouse mistreats you.
Detach from everything and anything associated with the addiction, including the negative behavior.
Pray For The Addict
I cannot tell you how important the process of daily prayer can be. Not only does it bring you closer to God but also it will get you into the habit of going to God with your life challenges. God does hear your cries of pain and He will give you the answers you need to get through these trials in your life. Some people think that just because they cannot see God that He will not hear them when they pray, or that God will not answer their prayers. But God will answer your prayers; just not in the way you want. We're so used to praying only when we want something or when we need comforting, but daily prayer for others nourishes the soul, and gets us in the habit of praying to God for our needs.
Most loved ones of alcoholic's are unhappy and lonely because they are not doing anything about their circumstances. If your spouse had cancer or diabetes, would you get sick with them? Of course you wouldn't. But that is what you're doing each and every time you enable, rescue, and stay in denial with the addict. Granted the addict cannot and will not love you back in the ways that they should - it is beyond their power while in the throngs of addiction. That is why alcoholism is called the insidious disease for a reason. Alcoholism and other addictions have broken apart marriages and relationships, and kept the addict from discovering their Creator - the source of who they are. Can it get anymore insidious than that?
There is so much more that I could say to you to support you in your journey. I have written a book called the Alcoholism Trap to help loved ones deal with the aspects of alcohol addiction. I also talk about why an alcoholic drinks and what the alcoholic can do to beat addiction for good and achieve total sobriety, which is getting to the ROOT of the alcoholic's problems first, and then tackling the drinking problem, which is only a symptom of alcoholism. The most important aspect of total sobriety is to look at all the areas of an alcoholic's life instead of just focusing on the drinking. The drinking is only secondary to the addiction. This is a great book with lots of valuable information for the alcoholic and the loved one of an alcoholic.
We also have written a great ebook on this subject called "How Do I Detach from an Alcoholic Spouse, you can find this book on the home page of Heaven Ministries.
I am offering two free copies of The Alcoholism Trap (first to email me will be first to serve) to anyone on my subscriber list that would like to give me a review and post it on Amazon. Please email me if this sounds like something you would be interested in. You do not have to be a professional writer to write up a short reveiw. All you need to do is read the book and tell potential buyers what you felt about the book. Did you like it? Was it interesting? Did you learn anything from the book? Did you think the book was explained in easy to understand terms? Would you read other material by this author? What was your overall feel of the book?
Article Resource:
Do You Love An Alcoholic? Setting Boundaries For You!
http://www.heavenministries.com/articles/doyouloveanalcoholic-setting%20boundaries.htm
Book Resource:
The Alcoholism Trap:
Please see Chapter Preview. This book teaches about how to come to “total sobriety”, which is healthy in body, mind, and soul. All addicted persons need some kind of inner healing and without humbling our lives to our Creator for the healing we need total sobriety will never be. An alcoholic drinks to feel better emotionally and mentally – that is where the compulsion to drink stems from. We absolutely NEED God in our lives to conquer our troubles and addictions and become the people God created us to be.
Until next Wednesday, May God bless you for His glory in His kingdom!
Angie
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